Five things Fred and George Shouldn't Have Done
by Olivia Brooks
Summary: Five stories about things that Fred and George Weasley shouldn't have done.
1. In Which the Twins Bother Their Mum

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me

Info: This story is going to start out sweet and fluffy--at least, generally--but it will probably get angsty by the end. I'm assuming there will only be five chapters.

George and Fred--Age Four--

"Is she gone, yet?" asked George, peeking his head around the corner. His twin, Fred, stood in front of their mum's bedroom door.

"Yes, now hurry!" he whispered, darting into the room. George ran after him, skidding to a halt just in front of his parent's bed. Fred was on his knees, reaching under it. After a heart stopping minute where George thought his mother might have moved the box, Fred pulled it out.

As they huddled around the box, the only noise was the sound of their labored breathing. Then, Fred lifted up the lid and the two stared inside.

Nestled among a bunch of old, tattered rags were several pictures, a pair of glasses, and two broken wands. They started as they always had--Fred grabbed the glasses and a wand, and Fred picked up the pictures--but after a second or two, Fred leapt up.

Pointing his wand haughtily--or at least, as haughtily as one can with a broken wand--at George, he said, I, Fabian Weasley"

"Prewett"

"Er right, I, Fabian Prewett, challenge you to a duel, Gideon," said Fred. George pulled the other wand out of the box, and jumped up.

"Abracadabra!" cried George; his wand fizzled slightly, but did nothing else. Generally, Fred would pretend to die, or dodge it, but now Fred stared at him.

"Guess what I just remembered"

"What?" George asked, frowning slightly. This wasn't how the game was played, "Fred! You aren't doing it right!"

"That's 'cuz I know a _real _spell," Fred said, staring down at the wand curiously. Suddenly, he looked up, "Wanna hear it?"

"Is Snape a slimy git?" George asked. He wasn't quite sure what it meant, but he'd heard his brother Charlie say it once, and it had stuck with him since.

"Okay. Ready?" Fred asked. George nodded eagerly, widening his eyes so he wouldn't miss anything.

"Avada Kedavra!" murmured Fred, pointing the wand at the floor. There was a muffled noise and then an explosion. The force of the blast was extremely strong and it threw George back several feet, causing him to smack his head against a wall. The smoke in the room was so thick that for a few minutes George couldn't see Fred.

"Freddie? Are you okay?" asked George, standing up and rubbing a chubby hand against the back of his head. When he pulled it away, his fingers were stained and sticky with blood, "Oh!"

"Yeah…I'm fine," came Fred's voice, after a few seconds, he came into few, "Bloody _hell"_

George placed his hands over his mouth, giggling; for a second, he forgot about the explosion. Fred had said a naughty word!

"What was that noise?" his mother's voice called. This brought George back and he stared at Fred, who was staring back at him with equally wide eyes, "Charlie? You didn't bring that awful dragon home again, did you?

There was a pause, then shuffling sounds, "…No"

"Bill? Was that you?" their mother called out.

"Bill's out meeting with Dumbledore, remember?" their father said.

"It wasn't me!" cried Percy.

"Don't worry, Perce. No one was accusing you of actually having a good time, _Merlin forbid_," came Charlie's muffled voice. There was a slight _humph, _and then it was basically silent.

"What do we do? What do we do?" asked George, dropping to the floor and scrambling to pick up the contents of the box. Only there was a slight problem; all that was left were a few scraps of the rags, and a torn corner of a picture--the subjects of said picture were all crowded together, staring angrily up at George.

George could now hear the sounds of his mother's footsteps on the stairs. He stared up at Fred, "Freddie, _what do we do?"_

"Uh, um, feign injury?" Fred suggested, staring down at the mangled floorboards in abject horror, "Quick! Punch me in the face!"

"Boys? What are you--" their mother stopped abruptly when she entered the room. For a moment she just stared, her mouth open wide and her eyes blinking rapidly. Then she turned to Fred, "_What did you do!_"

"Mum, we--" began Fred. However, when Molly Weasley noticed the small scraps on the floor, something switched in her eyes. They went from angry to sad in a second.

"Boys, was that the box underneath my bed?" she asked, biting her lip. When Fred and George slowly nodded, she closed her eyes, "Is there anything left?"

Fred and George stared at the mangled wands in their hands and thrust them forward. She grabbed them delicately, as if they were fragile pieces of art instead of…well, flaming sticks.

"Fred, George, I need you two to go to your rooms," she whispered, her breathing steady.

"Mum--"

"George, _please_," she said, staring down at him. Her voice broke on the word _please _and George found himself wishing for her regular anger, instead of this agonizing…disappointment, and pain.

George nodded and grabbed Fred's arm, dragging his twin out of the room. The door awung shut behind them, and soon the sounds of sobbing were audible.

A door above them opened--quickly, it seemed, because it slammed against the wall--and footsteps were heard hurrying down the stairs. Soon, Charlie appeared near them.

"What happened?" he asked.

"We were playing with these wands in Mum's room--" began Fred.

"--And there was this explosion, and then the box was just _gone,_" babbled George, "Mum came in and told us to leave, and now she's--she's--"

"She's _crying!"_ whispered Fred, "Charlie, what's wrong with Mum?"

Charlie's face became grim. "Was it a green box?" Fred thought for a moment before nodding.

"That was the box filled with stuff from Mum's brother's," said Charlie, "You two stay here, I need to get Dad"

A few moments later, Charlie was back with their dad. Their dad had a determined look on his face, and he slipped into his room without saying a word to Fred or George.

"Why's Mum so upset?" asked George.

"Well, her brothers died," Charlie said.

"So?" Suddenly, George's eyes widened, "_That wasn't their bodies in there, was it?"_

"No, of course not!" said Charlie, "Look, you know how Bill, and Ron, and I are your brothers?" George and Fred nodded, "Well, you'd miss us if we were gone, yeah?"

"Yeah," said Fred, "Well, maybe not Ron. He's not very fun"

"He's a baby, Fred, they don't do much," Charlie said, grinning. His grin faded, then, and he returned to talking, "You'd keep things of ours? Like pictures, right?"

"Yeah," Fred said again. He screwed his eyes closed, but after a second they popped open again, "Was that all she had left of them?"

George's eyes widened, "Is she going to hex us?"

"I doubt it, bud, but you two might want to lay low, just in case," Charlie said. At that moment, their father returned from the room, his face ashen.

"Come on boys, let's go downstairs. Maybe we could go to ice cream parlour, later," he said, trying to smile. George and Fred could tell it was fake, but they pretended to be delighted.

As they were walking down the stairs, Charlie muttered to George, "You two _really _shouldn't have done that"


	2. In Which the Twins Try to Cast a Spell

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.

Fred and George- Age Seven.

"Didja get it?" Fred asked eagerly. The mischievous red head was bouncing energetically. He always did this when he was excited, which George found to be rather annoying.

"'Course I did! Charlie didn't even notice," said George, pulling the wand out of his pocket.

"Excellent," said Fred, staring at it. His awe was soon overpowered by his excitement, though, and he grabbed George's arm, "Come on, Ron's just in his room"

The two boys hurried upstairs and knocked loudly on their little brother's door before racing in.

"Rooooonnald!" Fred said, dragging out Ron's name until he spotted him cowering under his bed. After dropping to his knees, Fred dragged him out, and grabbed the wand from George, "Okay, you grab his hand, and I'll say the spell"

"No! I don't wanna!" Ron cried, pulling his hand away. George felt a pang of guilt, which was quickly washed away by the prospect of actually doing an unbreakable vow.

"Come on Ronniekins," said George, "It'll be fun. There'll be pretty lights"

Ron's lower lip quivered, "Nu-uh. There'll be spiders, just like last time. I _hate _spiders"

George winced at the mention of what he and Fred referred to as "that time Mum nearly hexed our arses off". They'd…accidentally…turned Ron's teddy bear into a giant spider after he'd broken Fred's toy broomstick. It had been an honest mistake--really, they'd been trying to turn it into a acromantula--but their mum didn't believe them.

"If you do this…we'll give you candy," blurted Fred. George looked at him curiously and mouth _Candy?_ Fred shrugged, looking back at George with wide eyes.

But it appeared to have worked, "Candy? Like…like chocolate frogs?"

"Erm, would Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans work?" asked Fred, pulling a small package out of his pocket. Ron pulled a face, and shook his head vehemently. Fred turned to George and hissed, "_Do something_!"

"Uh, but they're so good!" said George, grabbing the bag out of Fred's hand. He plucked one of the beans out of the bag and popped into his mouth, chewing slowly. As the flavor seeped into his mouth, he continued chewing. Then, as the flavor became recognizable--it was, he would later swear, bogey flavored--he began dry heaving. He spit the disgusting morsel out of his mouth and right on to Ron.

For a moment, as Ron wiped the offending candy off his cheek, he remained silent. Slowly, though, a crafty grin made its way onto his face. George tensed; Ron was not a smart person--honestly, if intelligence was a game of quidditch, Ron would need to catch about thirty snitches before he could even _think _about beating the average person--but when it came to sweets…well, George didn't put anything past him.

"Give me your entire collection of chocolate frogs," he said, smiling sweetly.

"What collection would that be?" asked Fred, sending George a nervous glance. They'd been collection chocolate frogs since he could remember, taking only one or two at a time. He wasn't actually sure why they saved them, but he'd assumed they were keeping them for a good occasion. Giving them to Ron was _not _that reason.

"You know what? Forget it," said Fred, "We don't need your help anyways"

"Oh, too bad. I guess Dad'll be in for a surprise when he asks me how my day went," said Ron. George gaped at him; was he honestly _threatening _them?

"He's only five," Fred whispered to George, "So, when did he become such a conniving little twit?"

"I hate to say it," George whispered back, "But I'm actually sort of proud of the git"

"I heard that," said Ron, nearly singing, "What'll it be?"

"If we give you the frogs, will you still do the spell?" asked Fred.

"Will I die if I do?"

Fred and George exchanged a glance, but Ron was too busy humming some song to himself--presumably happy that he'd beat his brother's for once--that he didn't notice. A slow grin crept across Fred's face.

"No way"

"Okey dokey, then, I'll do it," said Ron, clapping his hands. His face turned solemn, "But you need to give me the chocolate frogs first"

Fred rolled his eyes, leaving the room. A few moments later, he came back, a bag full of chocolate frogs in his hands. He held the bag out to Ron, holding on just a few seconds too long.

"All right, then!" said Ron, giggling. He set the bag down on his bed, and turned to face the twins, "Do whatcha got to do"

"Grab my hand," said George, reaching out. Ron grabbed his hand, and grimaced.

"Why do I have to hold your hand? You aren't going to snog me, are you?"

George snorted, "I could do a lot better than you for a first kiss, git"

"Ready George?" asked Fred, pulling Charlie's wand out of his pocket. He pointed it down at George and Ron, "Put your hand on each other's wrists. That's how the people in the book did it"

George and Ron slid the hands further up, and Fred nodded, "Good"

"Now, do you George Weasley, promise to--" A few thin ropes of silvery light wound their way around the clasped hands, and Fred paused, momentarily distracted.

During that momentary distraction, there was a knock on the door, and their father walked in, "Boys, do you want--"

He stopped dead when he saw the clasped hands, and the light around them. Fred threw the wand under Ron's bed. George tried to tug his hand away, but he couldn't move it.

George was actually glad that it had been his father, and not his mother that caught him. His mother would probably kill them. With their father, they'd probably only get a mild chastising.

"What in bloody hell are you doing!" their father bellowed, tearing Ron's hand from George's. Well. George certainly hadn't expected that, "Do you have any idea how powerful this magic is? Do you have any idea what could have happened to Ron? HE COULD HAVE BLOODY WELL DIED!"

Ron, who'd been rubbing the red mark his father had caused, looked up, "You lied to me!"

"We were only going to make him clean out our room," protested Fred. His father stared at them.

"You were going to perform a spell that forces the one it's cast on to do what you say on threat of death so that Ron would clean your _bloody _room?" his voice wasn't raised, but there was an underlying threat of punishment in his voice. Neither Fred nor George said a word. This didn't seem to help much.

Their father stormed over to the twins, "Come with me"

"But, dad--"

"COME WITH ME, NOW!" he yelled, grabbing their arms so tightly that Fred swore later that he could feel the bruise forming. George was so surprised by his father's anger--he'd never even raised his voice before--that he couldn't say a word. Instead, he just complied with his father.

As they were pulled away, George could hear the faint sound of Ron cackling, and then, "You _really _shouldn't have done that!"

Author's note: Reviews would be nice, and supremely appreciated. I'd like to thank Grey Eyed, Louey06, Written Sparks, BloodXLust, and RavenEcho for reviewing the first time around!


	3. In Which the Twins Cause Chaos

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except the plot.

Warnings: Some swearing.

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Fred and George- Age 11

"Can you believe it?" Fred's voice was an awed whisper. The only time George had ever seen him this amazed was way back when they'd seen their first spell performed. Still, he had good reason. They were standing in line, waiting to be sorted. They had quite a while to wait, though, seeing as they were way in the _W_s, and the last person to be sorted was a pretty girl named Angelina Johnson--she'd had the hat on for maybe a second, before it cried "Gryffindor!".

"No way…," replied George. Fred punched him lightly on the shoulder and grinned.

"Betcha you'll be a Slytherin," he said.

"Nuh-uh!" said George. Then he grinned back, "Bet you'll be a Hufflepuff!"

Fred snorted, "Please. If Percy somehow became a Gryffindor, there's no way _I _won't"

"Oh, and it's _so _much more likely that I will?"

Fred looked to be seriously thinking about this, so George punched him in the shoulder, "Oi! I'm your twin, prat! People can't tell us apart because we're so alike. If I'm a Slytherin, then so are you!"

"All right, all right!" said Fred, putting his hands up, "We're both Gryffindors. Happy?"

"Yes. Very much so," said George. Fred rolled his eyes and looked around.

"This is so _boring!_ Honestly, I thought Hogwarts was supposed to be more fun than home," he complained, "But so far I almost wish I were back there"

George looked at him skeptically; even though it had been boring so far, Hogwarts was a place where you were encouraged to use magic, while The Burrow was most definitely _not_.

"Okay, okay, maybe not home, but at least somewhere else," consented Fred.

"Well," began George, "if you find it so utterly boring, maybe we ought to do something to spice it up a little"

"Ah, now there's my twin! What exactly did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking…mass chaos and possibly the breaking of several dozen rules," said George.

Fred's eyes lit up, "Brilliant. How do you suggest we do it?"

"Well, I was thinking…we should probably use a spell"

"Yes, seeing as we're at _Hogwarts _that's pretty obvious," said Fred.

George ignored Fred and continued on, "So, what spells do we know that would work?"

The two thought about it for a while, moving forward every time someone new was sorted. They were all the way through the _M_s before Fred shook his head.

"All the spells I can think of would either take too long, or would be way too incriminating, or would be just bloody stupid"

"Me too," said George, "So, we're just going to have to go with the muggle method"

"Pushing and shoving, then?"

"Aye, pushing and shoving it is," said George with a nod. The two shook hands quickly before turning to the person next to them, and giving a quick shove. George's boy flailed for a moment before toppling into the person next to him. This happened to be a burly looking girl, who turned back to him and punched him in the face.

Fred's boy also fell into the person behind him, who fell into the person behind him, who fell into the person behind her, and on and on. The first person to fall got up quickly, and began dusting himself off. He was turning to Fred, when the person he had fallen onto stood up and pushed him. Soon, nearly every first year was involved in a massive brawl.

This caused their older siblings to step in, and then the teachers. Shrieks and the sound of fists hitting bones with sickening crunches filled the air. All this provided a very good distraction for two very guilty looking red heads to slip out of the Great Hall.

"Well," said Fred, blinking rather awkwardly, "That got a little out of hand"

George nodded slowly and then grimaced, "Would it be bad if I said that I think that was our best one yet?"

Fred's eyes lit up, "It was bloody brilliant! I mean, it's probably going to get us thrown into Azkaban for the rest of our lives, but did you see the look on Snape's face?"

"I thought he was going to Avada Kedavra someone!"

"Bloody hell, can you imagine what would happen if he got hold of us?" asked Fred.

George shuddered. "I'd rather not imagine my body parts taking vacations on several different continents, thanks"

He and Fred slumped down against the wall, breathing heavily. The adrenaline from causing such utter _chaos _was slowly draining from their bodies.

After taking a deep breath, George craned his neck around the edge of the wall and peered into the Great Hall.

And found himself face-to-boot with the Dread of Gryffindor Herself, Professor Minerva McGonagall.

She was glaring down at him, her face a rather unattractive shade of puce. She had a long cut on her face, and there was a ragged tear in her robes. All in all, she didn't look very happy.

Fred moved forward to see what George was looking at. When he saw Professor McGonagall, his face flashed to fear for a moment, but was soon replaced by a grin.

"Why hello there, Minerva," he said, his grin going from happy to cheeky, "Fancy seeing you here!"

"What were you thinking?" she asked, her teeth clenched together so tightly that George imagined that it had to hurt.

"Why, whatever are you talking about?" asked Fred, his grin disappearing, and his eyes widening. He always did this when he was trying to get out of trouble. It worked with his Dad, but never with his Mum. George really hoped McGonagall was an Arthur.

She wasn't. "You two have caused more broken body parts, and black eyes before you were even sorted, than most students could cause in all their years at Hogwarts," she hissed, "So, I'll ask again. What. Were. You. Thinking?"

"We were caught up in the heat of the moment?" Fred said weakly.

"The heat of the moment? You were waiting in line! How could that possibly lead you to be caught up in the heat of the moment?"

"We were very excited to be at Hogwarts--," began Fred, he looked over to George, his eyes wise.

"--and we were so very upset that we might not get into Gryffindor--like the rest of our family has--and that we might disappoint someone, that we took our anger out on each other, and accidentally caused other injuries in the process," George finished, "Of course, it will never happen again"

"We give our heart-felt apologies, Minny"

For a second the anger on Professor McGonagall's face wavered, and nostalgia replaced it, "I knew two students very much like yourselves. They too thought themselves suave enough to get out of any troubles they got in to. They also thought themselves important enough to call me Minny"

The anger returned, and she glared down at them over her glasses, "They were wrong on both counts"

She grabbed Fred and George and yanked them up, "And I believe neither of them came too close to getting expelled before they were even a full-fledged member of Hogwarts"

Behind Professor McGonagall's back, Fred mouthed _Excellent _to George, who nodded back.

As the two were dragged down the hallway, Professor McGonagall hissed, "You two _really should not have done that"_

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_Author's note: I'd like to thank all those who have reviewed so far, and ask them to continue, and other's to as well. Thank you for reading!  
_


	4. In Which the Twins Scar Slytherins

Disclaimer: All that is mine is the plot. The rest belongs to the ever so talented J.K. Rowling.

Warnings: Uh, I believe there is some mild swearing in here.

_No Slytherins were harmed in the making of this Fanfiction_

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"That is it!" cried Fred, slamming the portrait shut. There was a muffled "_Children these days are hooligans, every one!" _that George assumed came from the Fat Lady.

"What?" asked George. Fred all but threw himself down next to George, crossing his arms violently.

"Those evil, disgusting, wretched, terrible, awful _Slytherins _have gone too far," he muttered, "Someone needs to make them pay"

"Hmm, change that someone to 'you and I', and I think I can help"

"Do you have something in mind, then?" asked Fred. His twin sat quietly for a minute, staring down at two second-years playing exploding snap.

Suddenly, George jumped up. Ignoring the cries of one of the second years - he'd been so surprised by George's sudden movement that'd he'd messed up and now his eyebrows were a bit singed - he turned to face his brother with a large grin.

"Remember how we made that pact when we were eight to never, ever listen to Mum unless she had the 'The Wizenmagot won't send me to Azkaban for hexing you once I tell them what you've done' look on her face?" he asked. Fred nodded slowly, "Well, I think I've just found an exception to that rule"

Fred looked like he was thinking, but soon it was replaced by his usual look - confused and rather excited. "And what exception would that be, my brilliant brother?"

"Well, my not-quite-so-brilliant brother, let's just say that now might be the proper time to send Ginny that toilet seat"

Fred blinked twice and then understanding lit in his eyes, "Lee's just bought a fresh batch of dungbombs. I'm sure that we can get him to help our cause"

"Help?" said George with a snort, "If I know Lee, he'll be the one planting the dungbombs"

"We'll have to make a few modifications, of course," said Fred, he snatched a piece of parchment from a first year. He scribbled a few notes down on it, only looking up when the first year made a sort of shocked squeak, "The BSLU team thanks you for your donation"

"BLSU?" asked George. Fred turned back to the paper, now writing furiously.

"Blow Slytherin's Loos Up"

"You see, this is why no one ever calls you the creative twin," sighed George. Fred smacked his arm, without looking up.

"Oi! I don't remember anyone calling you the creative twin, either"

"Yes, but the point is no one calls _you _that," said George. He could tell that Fred was about to hit him again, so he was glad when Lee Jordan fell into the room through the portrait, his breathing slightly labored. When he spotted Fred and George, he made a bee-line towards them.

"Merlin, Lee, what happened to you?" asked Fred. Lee was currently cradling his left hand in his right, and he sported a nasty gash on his chin.

"Remember that list we made? '99 Reasons That No One Ever Needs to Worry About Montague Becoming a Dark Wizard?"

A blissful smile made its way onto Fred's face, "Ah, yes. How could I forget?"

"Well, somehow Montague got hold of a copy, and, even though we remembered not to sign our work this time, he figured out that we wrote it," said Lee. George thought back to a time when they _had _signed their name to every piece of parchment they wrote on. They were at the mercy of Snape a lot more frequently, then. Now, it was mostly evenings with Hagrid or Minny - after the first time of calling her that Fred just couldn't stop, and George eventually began as well.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait," said Fred, waving his hands, "You made it sound like Montague can actually read"

Lee shrugged, "It shocked me as well"

"_Merlin_, and here I thought that boy got in on looks alone," said George incredulously.

"So, Montague did this to you, then?" asked Fred. Lee nodded stiffly.

"Apparently he wasn't too happy about number eleven 'Montague has the attention span of a particularly dumb goldfish, and therefore could not remember the Unforgivables more than ten seconds after they were taught to him'," said Lee, "And he was quite upset about number thirty-four, 'He'd never be able to hex anyone, because the second they saw an ape running at them, they'd call the local zoo and he'd be captured'. At least, I think he didn't like that one. Honestly, the way he uses the English language, I'm never quite sure _what _he's trying to say"

"Hmmm, and those weren't even the best ones"

"That's what I thought too, but I figure he probably just didn't understand the better ones. Bet he thought they were compliments," said Lee. He laughed, which caused his arms to shake. Even though it was just a small shake, he still winced slightly, looking down at his arm in disgust.

"Oi! Bell!" cried Fred. Katie Bell, a second-year Chaser, looked up from her homework and raised one blonde eyebrow.

"What?"

"Would you mind taking Lee here to the infirmary? He got into a bit of a scuffle"

Katie's face flushed slightly - George was almost positive that she had a large crush on Lee - but she shook her head, "Why can't one of you do it?"

"Because, we are working very diligently on destroying the Slytherin's toilets," said Fred, his voice the sort of exasperated that says _Seriously, how did you not know that?_

"Fine," Katie said, placing her parchment in her back and standing up, "Come on, Lee, let's hurry"

The two left the room, which left the twins to finish their scheming. They worked in the common room until long after the last student had left. It had cost them their night, and it would probably cost them their social lives for the next several months, but they'd come up with a plan that the Slytherins wouldn't soon forget.

A few days later, when Lee was completely healed, and they'd perfected their plan - or at least as far as they could without completely scrapping the idea, because, let's be honest, modifying already volatile dungbombs to blow up a loo is never going to be completely perfect - the three set out towards the Slytherin common rooms.

They took with them a sack that had in it approximately forty-five dungbombs, an assortment of goodies, and a spare piece of parchment. The spare piece of parchment was grabbed by Fred, who whispered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good"

"Those idiotic second years, Crabbe and Goyle are on their way down," he said, after he'd watched the map for a while, "You'd better do it quick, Lee"

Lee nodded and took out his wand. He whispered a few words and then tapped his, Fred's, and George's heads. George felt something cold and slimy trickle down his back, and when he looked down at his hands, they slowly disappeared. The rest of his body soon went with.

Just in time, too, for at the moment, Crabbe and Goyle rounded the corner. They were talking noisily, so the trio didn't really have to hide their footsteps as they followed the brutes down to their common room. After the two said a password, an entire portion of the wall slid away, revealing the Slytherin common room. It was a dank place, filled with musty green couches and flickering green lamps. How anyone could live there was beyond George.

The three easily managed to slip in behind Crabbe and Goyle. They then followed the two up some stairs until they reached the first door, which they slipped in to. It was empty, which they'd counted on, and they quickly made their way to the first years bathroom.

It was almost completely bare - though it housed several mirrors - holding only a few combs that showed anyone lived there at all. Well, it would be harder to hide their extra goodies, but not yet impossible.

"I've got the dungbombs," said George, fishing a few out of the bag. Fred and Lee nodded, grabbing the rest of their supplies and getting to work. George turned to the actual loos themselves. There were solid stone walls surrounding each toilet, which would hopefully contain the blasts.

George knelt down and carefully took the lid off the back of the toilet, placing it next to him. Then, he placed one dungbomb in the pristine water and placed the lid back on. There was a large crash from where Fred and Lee were.

"Are you guys all right?" he asked.

"_Merlin_," breathed Fred, "Yes, we're fine. Lee was just freaked out by the ugly git"

"You came up with it, Lee, how can you be afraid of it?" asked George. He made his way to the next stall.

"Well, you didn't have to make it so realistic," Lee complained. George rolled his eyes as he placed another dungbomb in the back of the loo.

"If we didn't make it realistic, Lee, then the Slytherins wouldn't be freaked out enough. Duh," said Fred.

"Oh, well, _sorry_, Mister 'I've-put-creepy-images-of-Snape-in-loos-thousands-of-times-before', I guess I'm just not as experienced a pervert as you are," muttered Lee. George laughed, before going to the next stall.

After a few more minutes, George was finished with all the stalls. He stood up, and was preparing to turn around, when he was grabbed by both arms, and his eyes were covered.

Well, at least he thought that's what Fred was trying to do. He'd seemed to have forgotten the fact that he was invisible when he put his hands over George's face.

"Fred," he said, "You do realize that I can see right through your hands, yeah?"

"Oh," said Fred, "I hadn't thought of that. Well, this is rather embarrassing"

"How'd you know that it wasn't me?" asked Lee, releasing George's arms.

"Because, Fred has these dainty little girl hands," explained George. Said dainty hands pulled off of his face, somehow managing to scratch him on the way out.

"Are you two done?" asked George.

"Most definitely. These slimy snakes are going to get quite the surprise when they next go to the loo"

They were getting ready to go to the next floor - or George was - when George thought of something.

"Hey, Fred, duplicate that toilet seat, will you?"

There was the sound of footsteps and a muttered, "Geminio" Then, a pristine white toilet seat magically appeared, about five feet from George. He set the bag of things down on the floor and pointed his wand at the toilet seat in front of him.

"Diffindo," he said. There was a large crunching sound, before the toilet seat pulled apart from the rest of the toilet. George slipped Fred's toilet seat onto the toilet and said, "Reparo"

The toilet seat - which he hoped would last for several more hours - attached itself neatly to the toilet.

"Oh, this is Ginny's, then?" said Fred.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking," said George. Invisible hands grabbed the bag of goodies from the floor, and picked it up.

"To the next floor!" cried Lee. He exited the loo, followed by two invisible twins.

They finished the rest of the floors within the hour, and made their way back down to the common room. This is where there plan got tricky. They wanted to make a mess of the girl's loo as well, but they weren't sure if the Slytherin dorms were the same as Gryffindor's.

The three stood, staring at the stairs, for a good ten minutes before Lee started forward - George could tell because the bag on his back started forward as well - he made it all the way to the foot of the stairs before stopping.

"Wish me luck, boys," he said. There was a gulping sound, "If I find myself with girl bits before the end of this, one of you had better date me"

Then he was off.

He walked up halfway, before turning back and calling down, "Do you find it mildly irritating that the slimy Slytherins are trusted more than us?"

"Well, everyone knows that the Slytherins are going to be slimy. I bet they figured that there was just no use trying to prevent it," said George, making his way to the stairs. He could just barely feel Fred in front of him.

The girl's loos were a bit different from the boy's loos in that - though there still weren't any beauty products lying about - there was more sign of life. A few hairclips lay about, and a brush or two as well.

The girl's dorm went much quicker than the boy's, and as the three made their way down the stairs, they were all feeling genuinely glad, because they hadn't met any Slytherins.

This happiness faded when they ran into Severus Snape, himself. If Minny was the Dread of Gryffindor, then Snape was the Grease of Slytherin.

The twins weren't exactly his biggest fans. (Read: The twins wouldn't have minded Azkaban if it meant they could hex Severus Snape for the rest of his life)

When Lee saw him, he backed against a wall, trying to hide his bag behind him. He managed to get out of the common room, but the twins were so lucky.

Snape had been walking towards a small alcove near the fireplace, and the twins thought they would be able to make it out. Unfortunately, as they were nearing the door, Snape froze.

"Whoever is there, I'd just like to remind you that coming into another house's common room with the intent to vandalize any part of it, or the surrounding dormitories, is an offense punishable by suspension," he said. He looked like he was prepared to continue, but he wasn't able to, as Fred and George rocketed out of the common room.

They found Lee - or, as it was, the bag - pacing outside the door.

"_Merlin_, I didn't think you guys were going to make it out alive," said Lee, as the three of them hurried up to their dorm.

When they made it up there, Lee performed the counter spell to make them visible again. George felt as if something warm and nourishing was spreading through his veins. It felt amazing to be visible.

"Give me the bag for a second," said George, when he could see Lee again. Lee threw it to him, and George grabbed Ginny's toilet seat.

Fred jumped onto his bed, and snatched the toilet seat from him.

"Flagrate," he said. Then, he began writing. When he was finished, he showed it to George.

'Hello, Ginevra! Been practicing those bat-bogey hexes? We promised to give you a toilet bowl quite a while ago, so here it is. This is the toilet bowl you'd have to use if you were sorted into Slytherin next year. And also became a boy. Love, your idols, Fred and George'

"What do you think?" he asked.

"Erm, it's certainly…a letter," said George. Fred punched him on the arm.

"Shut up! This is the best thing I've ever written"

"Which isn't saying very much," called Lee. Fred stopped to glare at him, before jumping off the bed.

"Are you two coming with me to the owlery?" he asked.

Lee shook his head. "I think I'll hide the evidence, in case someone comes up here to pin it on us"

So, Fred and George made their way to the owlery, alone. They wrapped the toilet seat up in a bit of old newspaper, and sent it off to Ginny with a borrowed owl.

They managed to get back to the common room before the screaming began.

It sounded like screams from multiple people, and after the screams, there were several loud noises. Noises that sounded quite like the sound a toilet makes when it explodes.

Everyone from the Gryffindor common room filed out and made their way downstairs, where several horrified Slytherins were being wrapped in towels.

"It-it was awful! He was just sitting there, staring at me, and it was like he didn't even care whether I saw or not!" whimpered one of the older boys. He was quickly scourgified, along with the rest of the victims.

Standing off in a corner, watching this all with cold fury, was Professor Severus Snape. George accidentally caught his eye, and he marched over.

"I'm not sure what perverted fantasies you were filling by making a figure of me _watch _while my students used the restrooms," he began, "but if I find even the _tiniest _piece of evidence that proves that you two not only scarred my students emotionally, but in some cases, also literally, I will have you out of here so fast that not even your brother's golden boy best friend will be able to save you"

"Why, Professor, I have no idea what you are talking about," said Fred, his eyes wide and innocent, "And that almost sounded like a threat"

"Congratulations, Mister Weasley. I wasn't sure if you were quite smart enough to catch that," he muttered. Then, he swiveled on his foot - causing his robes to bellow quite dramatically - and made his way over to the nearest student.

When she saw him, she made a whimpering noise and shielded herself. George and Fred watched in amusement, until Snape turned around again.

When he spoke, his voice was full of malice, and the threat of thousands of detentions if they were caught. "_You two_ _really shouldn't have done that_"

* * *

Author's Note: I'd like thank _hell-butterfly_, _starshipz_, and_ .x_ for reviewing last time around. Reviewing this time around would be much appreciated. (Can you believe next time is the last one? Yikes! I'm almost done with my first multi-chaptered fanfiction!)


	5. In Which the Twins Do Something Right

Warnings: Um, I believe there's like, one swear word in here. My apologies.

Disclaimer: Not mine, not making any money, all praise J.K…

°= The line was taken either in part or in whole from HP: OoTP.

I AM NOT, I repeat, I AM NOT trying to take these lines as my own. If there are any lines in here that are not marked, but they are J.K.'s I missed them on accident. I am not in any way trying to say that these are mine, or anything else. I just wanted to maintain as much of the original lines as possible. Please don't sue...kthxbai

_Many, many, _many_ Dolores Umbridge's were harmed in the making of this fanfic. _

* * *

Dolores Umbridge had never been a particularly attractive person--at least, in George's opinion--but at the moment, she was looking much worse than usually. Her toadish face was swelled up magnificently, and it was a rather abnormal shade of puce.

In any other situation, he'd probably have laughed, but he was feeling much too serious at the moment to do anything but stare at the 'Headmistress' in stony silence.

"You two°," she began, staring down at himself and Fred. Her eyes glinted maliciously, and George could almost see the cogs working in her mind as she decided how to punish them, "are about to learn what happens to wrong-doers in my school°"

"You know what?" he heard Fred say, "I don't think we are"°

Fred turned to him, and nodded his head slightly.

"George," said Fred, "I think we've outgrown full-time education°"

"Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself,°" George's heart was pounding wildly at the thought of what they were about to do, but he tried to focus.

"Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?°" asked Fred.

"Definitely°," said George. And, without pausing for even a second--because they knew it'd all be over if they wasted time--the two raised their wands and cried out, "_Accio brooms!_°_"_

"We won't be seeing you°," Fred told Professor Umbridge, swinging his leg over his broomstick°.

"Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch°," said George, mounting his own°. Umbridge stared at them silently. If it had been anyone else, George would have felt safe, but the way she was puffing out, he was afraid that he would be hit if she happened to explode.

As George settled himself on his broom, Fred announced where their new shop was going to be. The thought flitted through George's mind that they really owed Harry for that, before he said his part.

"Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat," he said, pointing at Professor Umbridge°.

This was when Umbridge exploded.

"STOP THEM!°" she shrieked. But it was too late, because at that moment, he and Fred kicked off from the floor, and shot at least fifteen feet into the air°. Out of the corner of his eye, George could see Fred turning to look at something.

"Give her hell from us, Peeves°"

And, right before George's eyes, Peeves--who had _never _taken an order from a student before°--swept his belled hat from his head and sprang to a salute°.

Fred sped towards the doors, with George right behind, and together, they flew out into the sunset°.

From behind them, they could hear cheering and clapping, and they exchanged a grin.

"Best one yet?" asked Fred. George nodded, and let out a loud _whoop._

"Can you believe it? Can you believe we _bloody_ did it?" he cried, his voice incredulous.

Fred shook his head, "We are officially out of Hogwarts"

Fred placed a hand over his heart and bowed his head solemnly. He stopped and turned around--George followed his lead. "Oh, Hogwarts, we hardly knew thee! You shall forever be the keeper of the crowning moments in our lives. Hogwarts, you are a speci--"

"Fred, may I ask what the _bloody hell _you are doing?" inquired George. Fred turned to him, glaring, and stuck up his nose.

"I was _trying _to say goodbye to Hogwarts, before you so rudely interrupted me"

"Well, yeah, I had to. I mean, no offense, brother, but your speech skills are utter shite," said George, shrugging. He quickly ducked out of the way, as Fred tried to hit him.

"Fine then, we'll just leave Hogwarts with no farewell. Are you happy, George? Hmm? Does leaving Hogwarts with no proper goodbye make you happy? Does the prospect of the walls weeping because we abandoned them make you shriek with glee?" asked Fred. George mostly ignored him, as the reality of the situation happened to hit him. They'd just dropped out of Hogwarts…_bloody hell!_…Fred waved his hands in front of George's face, "Hullo! Hullo? George, anyone in there?"

George stared straight ahead, his eyes quite unfocused. "_Merlin_, Fred. Do you know what we just did?"

"What?"

"We just dropped out of Hogwarts. D'you have _any _idea what Mum's going to do to us when she finds out?"

Fred blinked twice, and then his eyes widened, "Worse than the time with the slugs, d'you reckon?"

George thought back to the time with the slugs and shuddered. The story is a bit too long to put here, but suffice to say, the walls of the Burrow were never quite the same, and Ginny--strong, little Ginny--still whimpered anytime someone mentioned anything to do with salt.

"Much worse," whispered George. Fred bowed his head, then quickly raised it.

"Well, it was nice knowing you, Gred," he said, placing his hand on George's shoulder.

"And you, Forge"

The two sat in silence, hovering just before Hogwarts's boundaries. They couldn't see them, but they could feel the excited hum of magic in the air. It did quite well in distracting them from their upcoming deaths.

"Shall we press on?" asked Fred. George nodded and angled his broomstick. Fred did the same.

Then, pushing all thoughts of their impending demise out of their heads, the two pushed past the boundaries of Hogwarts, and touched down on bright green grass. After grabbing their trunks from the field they'd placed them in the night before, Fred and George apparated, leaving only two _crack_s as evidence that they'd been.

When they arrived--'accidentally' several miles from the Burrow--they said nothing to each other. They both, it seemed, had decided to dwell on the silence that would soon be disrupted by their mother's yelling. And boy, could she yell.

By the time they made it to the Burrow, it was nearly dark. The house was silent and still.

When George pushed the door open, his father gave him a strong handshake, and then pulled him into a hug. He did the same with Fred.

"I'm proud of you, boys," their father said, smiling at them. His smile, however, quickly turned into a frown, "Your mother is waiting for you in your room. I'm not sure what mood she's in. Best tread lightly"

Their father took their trunks--well, they were too large to actually take, so he just left them where they were and watched over them--and nodded. Fred nodded back, but George was too focused on _don't let me die, _please _don't let me die_, that he could only see the stairs.

The twins made their way to the base of the stairs, but they seemed unable to go any further. What was waiting for them was too horrible to imagine--or at least, they imagined it was--and neither very much felt like dying gruesomely anytime soon.

George exchanged a worried glance with Fred, and began the ascent to their room. It seemed that every creak of the stairs was amplified, and the sound of their breathing overtook all else. It felt like walking towards a noose, and knowing it's going to be hanging you. In other words, it wasn't very pleasant.

When they entered their room, it was mostly dark, save for a small light near George's bed. They could just make out their mother, sitting in the shadows of Fred's bed. She looked up when they walked in, but did nothing more.

The twins exchanged a glance, but did not move. Waiting was always best when it came to their mum.

So they waited.

After several moments, she stood up. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and she was frowning. A hollow feeling made itself known in George's stomach.

"Turn the light on, please, Fred?" she asked. She was standing so still that George thought it impossible, and he wondered if perhaps it was some sort of magic. Fred obeyed his mother, and turned on the light.

Now that he could see her better, the hollow feeling in George's stomach intensified. She looked like she'd been crying for hours--though they'd only escaped from Hogwarts an hour ago--and her mouth kept quivering downwards. It was almost painful to watch.

"Mum--" George began. His mother put up a hand, and he quieted.

"I've always known you two were mischievous. Since you were in nappies, you would cook up the most convoluted schemes, and somehow they would all work out," she said. She smiled faintly, as if remembering a pleasant thought, "I've gotten dozens of letters from teachers over the years, either complaining about your lack of focus on your studies, or your intense focus on your pranks, and I'm sure if you weren't as sly, I'd have dozens more"

She gave them a knowing look here, and stepped forward.

"Through it all, I've always had a tinge of…not disappointment, but more of…a wonder about what could have been if you were as focused on academics as mischief," she frowned, "I'd hoped that eventually you'd come to your senses, and realize that there are some things in life more important than high jinks and mayhem"

George braced himself for the impending lecture--well, more yelling than lecturing, really, as usual--but it never came. Instead, he found himself embraced by his mother.

"It seems, though, that I ought to have realized that there are things that academics simply cannot teach you. Things like honor, and bravery, and courage. If all a person has are those three things, I think they can lead a rather fulfilling life," she said, "Today, you've proven to me that I raised two brilliant boys. I'm extremely proud of you for standing up for yourselves, and the others as well"

She pulled Fred into the hug, then, and they stayed that way for a while. When their mother finally pulled away, she stared at them for several minutes.

"That being said, if either Ron or Ginny so much as _thinks _about doing something similar, I will hex you two so fast that you won't even be able to think of a witty one-liner before bats are flying around you in such great quantities that all the world will appear to be made of them"

With that, she smiled at them, patted them both lightly on the head, and walked out.

Fred and George stayed in their same positions for what seemed like eons before Fred finally spoke.

"Do you get the feeling that she's luring us into a false sense of security so she can murder us at the least likely moment?" he asked, looking over at George.

"Exactly what I was thinking," George replied. His eyes widened, "You do realize that no longer being in Hogwarts means we'll be here, which means that she'll have millions of opportunities to do us in, right?"

Fred's eyes widened as well, "You know what I'm thinking, George?"

"What, Fred?"

Fred slumped down on his bed, shaking his head almost wistfully, "I'm thinking that we _really _shouldn't have done that"

* * *

Several years later, when George was with only one ear, and Fred was long since dead and buried, George would count on these memories to get him through the day. He thought that if he held onto them, and watched them every day in his pensieve, that it would almost be like having Fred back. Fred, who was so much smarter than George, and who was, by all accounts, the better prankster.

He thought that having these memories might wash away the feeling he had that this was supposed to be Fred's life. Angelina had always been Fred's, and no matter how much she tried to convince him, George could never shake the feeling that she'd settled, with him.

It wasn't supposed to be that way. George was supposed to be fearless and egotistical. He was supposed to be so cocky that he believed himself invicible.

Trouble was, without Fred, he wasn't whole anymore. Without Fred, he was merely a shadow of his former self.

Without Fred, he never really understood how everyone expected him to live.

* * *

Author's Note: Whoah...what's this now? Could this really be the ending? I believe it could be...which means...I've finished my first ever multi-chaptered fic! *Much applause and fanfare* Thank you, thank you!

I'd be much obliged if you could review, as I'd like to know how I did. Oh, and by the way, I just want to apologize for the angstyness of the ending, seeing as this is mostly fluffy--and by mostly, I mean completely. I just wasn't sure what to do with it...plus it leads to where I'm hoping to go next. I plan on writing a companion fic, about George's life after Fred's death...thoughts on that would be much appreciated.

I'd like to thank _RavenEcho _for reviewing every single chapter. Ta, _RavenEcho_!

I'd like to thank _Starshipz, BloodXlust, _and _Hell-Butterfly _for reviewing two chapters.

And last, but not least, I'd like to thank _Louey06, Written Sparks, Daliha, Nata, Kels, .x, _and _.Annski-x _for reviewing once.

Many, many, many, many thanks to those of you who even just read it. It's always nice to know that I'm not just writing this for myself!

Wow, okay, that was super long, so I'll just say Thank you all very much, and I hope you liked this enough to read some of my other stuff!

Sincerely,

The Author.


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